Ralph Butcher has proudly helped individuals and couples across San Diego to strengthen their relationships.
Ralph came to me highly recommended. I was scared, and in a great deal of pain, emotionally, psychologically, and physically. I had been married at the time for almost 8 years. I was scared I was about to lose my family, my person, and life as I knew it. The first meeting was fantastic, Ralph's style was calming, sensitive, and above all safe and hopeful. Ralph's technique embraces each person as they are, with no judgement, and listens! He let us both exchange our feelings, thoughts, and our reality. Ralph taught us both how to communicate, how to disagree, and how to listen, before jumping to conclusions. Ralph gave us homework to allow us the ability to instill new ways to navigate areas of our marriage that needed revising. Ralph approached us as a couple but, at the same time as individuals, with an ease and reassurance that we could move forward. As our sessions moved forward, we began to utilize the tools and techniques we were given to practice and started using them in our day-to-day life as a married couple. We are nearing 19 years of marriage and to this day utilize the tools! Ralph will always hold a special place in my heart, not because he was our Therapist and helped save our marriage, but because he is a remarkably kind, empathetic, and caring human, we still say hello and look forward to any chance to catch up!
Dear Ralph. I am writing this testimonial with immense gratitude for the incredible impact you've had on my life. From the very first session, your unwavering support and profound insights have guided me through a transformative journey. Your empathetic listening, combined with your skillful expertise, created a safe space for me to explore and understand my emotions. Your therapeutic approach goes beyond conventional methods, making each session uniquely tailored to my needs. I appreciate your genuine dedication to my well-being, and I can confidently say that working with you has been a pivotal turning point in my personal growth. Your encouragement and guidance have empowered me to navigate challenges and develop a deeper understanding of myself. Thank you for being a beacon of wisdom, compassion, and healing in my life. I wholeheartedly recommend your services to anyone seeking a supportive and effective therapeutic experience.
I would highly recommend Ralph Butcher as a therapist. I was in a toxic marriage relationship and my life was miserable. I traveled just to get away. I knew that I had to get out but didn’t know how since I was so unhappy yet felt so guilty. Unlike other therapists who took the “tell me how you feel” approach, Ralph took a more pragmatic approach relating situations, giving me exercises, and having me watch videos. With his help, I came to understand what was really going on, how I could change, and leave that relationship to be happy. He supported me throughout the whole ugly divorce process. He then set me up for a future healthy relationship. When I met my new partner (now wife), Ralph helped me make sure that I wasn’t going to repeat past mistakes. Thanks to Ralph, I am in a very happy, loving relationship and I look forward to spending time with my partner every day. I thank Ralph for that!
Ralph has a refreshing and, to my experience, a unique style. I think of him as a mechanic, I tell him what is going on - what challenge I am facing and how it affects me. He listens intently and then, after repeating to me in his view what he has heard, he says “ok, we can fix this”. He then dives deeper reaching into his vast toolbox for the right tools to get the job done. My growth has been truly remarkable with Ralph’s pragmatic and highly effective approach.
It is hard to describe what an extraordinary therapist Ralph is. My husband and I went to him for couples counseling. We also attended 2 of his couple’s workshops. Both the workshops and couples therapy was exceptional. Ralph taught us how to communicate with each other better. Not only were we able to settle some of the current issues that were causing us problems, but he also gave us skills that we could carry with us for all the future issues life throws at us. He gave us tools to use so that our communication with each other improved and we could settle our problems with understanding and compassion for one another. I did a lot of individual therapy with Ralph as well. He was able to help me overcome some of the PTSD issues I had from previous trauma that I had carried with me for many years. It improved the quality of my life beyond my best expectations. I give him the highest recommendation possible. He will exceed your highest hope for success.
I’ve been seeing Ralph individually for several years and of late, with my husband. As he has taught me skills to get to know myself better, set boundaries and mentor others, so he has mentored me. I think what may describe our relationship is that on many days, I ask myself, “What would Ralph say?” “Does this align with my core values? Am I violating them? What are the symptoms? Am I reacting in my adult or child brain?” Ralph is knowledgeable, patient, kind, and an amazing listener (and I talk a lot). Thank you Ralph!
To say that Ralph has helped me so much, feels like an understatement. He has radically helped in my personal and professional transformation. Ralph is warm and empathetic, with a great work ethic. What I value most and has helped me to grow, is his honest and direct approach, backed-up by his vast knowledge of psychology and neuroscience. I am very grateful for his presence and support in my life.
On Behalf of Ralph Butcher. I met him at the start of the pandemic, Ralph told me that it was possible to renew my relationship with my wife in a way that would bring us closer together, and to enhance my authentic self. It sounded like millennial hooey. In time I restored balance to a life which was coming apart. I learned guidelines to authenticity, and about how to define boundaries to protect and enhance my well-being. A process that both salvaged and deepened my marriage…just as Ralph said it could. Still hard to believe. It was not an easy path. It still isn’t, but I now have a grasp of thinking processes that were detrimental to my well-being. He helped change my frame of reference from a defensive posture to one of awareness and compassion. I am more conscious of decisions that I make. Ralph gave me permission to filter toxicity out of my life, and to make decisions based on who I needed to be. I made choices he may not have agreed with, but, nonetheless, he supported me. He helped me find strengths I had not recognized, and in a desperate bid to survive a difficult situation, I found a life coach.
My husband and I have been working with Ralph for close to three years. He has been a tremendous help for our individual personal growth in this relationship. Before we met him, we had worked with three different marriage counselors. We had huge fights in the therapy rooms that none of them was able to even control the anger. We were able to find Ralph through the IMAGO recommendation from the last therapist we worked with. What a difference Ralph has made. He is so compassionate that both of us feel heard and understood. Using the tools from IMAGO method, we understand each other’s woundings much better and have been able to use some tools in our life. Ralph is not only understanding of our feelings but also insightful. His diagnosis of my complex PTSD and suggestion on stellate ganglion block (SGB) treatment have led me to the recovery journey of my overactive response nerve system. I have tried different ways, meditation, spiritual learning, years of therapies, over the past 30+ years without much success to overcome my fight/flight/freeze overreactions upon triggers. With one treatment of SGB, I feel the calmness I have never experienced in my whole life. He recently shed light on the possibility of my husband’s ADHD symptoms that could have contributed to our marital problems for years. It is like a light bulb lit up. It all makes sense to me what each of us is doing that is hurting the relationship. Ralph is not only a therapist that makes you feel better, he also challenges you so you can grow and get better. He does not sugarcoat the issues he sees in us but delivers the messages in a very gentle way so that people who have been subject to traumas can hear him but not be scared away. For people who want personal growth and/or do not want to repeat the painful experiences in their intimate relationships, it is important to hear his messages to work on ourselves. His tough love is golden to me. It can be for you as well.
Our relationship was at a critical moment and near failure when we engaged with Ralph Butcher. Ralph gave us practical and effective tools right away. These, combined with the Imago structure helped us not only survive, but to thrive in our relationship together. Ralph is an exceptional therapist. He uses a combination of evidence-based therapy and real-world experience to bring us together. Even at times when we had what seemed like an overwhelming amount of negative energy in our relationship, Ralph helped us to settle down to basics and redirect that energy towards growth and positivity.
Through my sessions with Ralph, I've come to understand myself better. He provides gentle guidance, insight and support I've needed to reach my goals I wouldn't have achieved otherwise. Ralph is easy to talk to, funny, warm, and genuinely invested in how I am doing. I hope Ralph's incredible work continues to save emotional lives. Thank you Ralph!
I am immensely grateful that my husband and I found Ralph to work with at a critical point in our marriage. Not only is Ralph an excellent and skilled counselor, he is also a wonderful human being!
I was stuck in a serious and negative recurring pattern with my husband; over time, Ralph has showed me how to shift my perspective to see that my husband is, in fact, exactly the right person for me and that we can grow in love in our marriage and even provide healing for each other. Ralph has helped us move back toward each other with practical tools and intentional skills we can integrate into our daily lives together. Ralph has also truly been invaluable helping us navigate some rocky terrain as we parent a teenager.
Ralph is a very warm and caring person, and he is so knowledgeable and experienced in his approach to couples counseling. Ralph is easy-going, open, available, present, and always kind and compassionate. There is usually a large dose of humor during our sessions as well, which is always welcome!
I look forward to our sessions with Ralph and come away every time with insights and inspiration that have helped my marriage and unified my family. I’ll be forever grateful to Ralph for his kind, caring and practical approach to improving my relationship with my husband.
Thank you Ralph! Thanks to our work together, things are progressing in a positive way and I'm feeling proud of myself. I had that strength I feared I was lacking, and your support was crucial in finding it. Thank you. I know you are my therapist, but I also genuinely consider you my friend, a friend who pulled me while I was drowning and pushed me when I was insecure, listened when I was vulnerable and rejoiced when I was taking a brave step.
I've had the pleasure of having Ralph as my therapist, on and off, for over 10 years. Ralph has been there when I needed help navigating through life's challenges - marriage, raising children, taking care of parents and work. Ralph's method caters to each individual and he has provided sound advice that I can implement and achieve results. With Ralph's guidance, he has taught me how to have better relationships with people in my life as well as how to manage stress. I've discovered a lot about myself through the years with Ralph's assistance. He has helped me evolve to be a better version of myself. I'm forever grateful to Ralph!
When I first met Ralph my world was a mess. A marriage falling apart, I was distracted at work, the relationship with my kids was at its low point, I held on to hidden secrets, my behavior atrocious, I felt the need to self-promote (even lying) to feel accepted, I had an excuse for everything, and most puzzling of all, I didn’t understand that the underlying problem in all this was actually me. Shame was my hidden companion; I lived with it, slept with it, ate with it…. Put simply, self-loathing, anxiety and shame owned me as I was too afraid to admit it.
I met Ralph about four years ago as a referral when my life was blowing up. Over the next couple of years Ralph helped me through one crisis after another. We talked about everything, nothing was off-limits. Working through a lifetime of behaviors and patterns took time, energy and trust, but eventually there was progress. I was able for the first time in my life find acceptance for who I am. I am now able to look at my wife, not differently, but more wholly. I see her for who she is instead of what she is and I adore her for it. Gone are secrets and the anxiety I kept inside. Relationships with my kids and friends have never been stronger and deeper. I am functioning more highly at work. Honesty and integrity have replaced anxiety and fear. And best of all, I am okay with who I am. I am free of the burdens of my former self.
Unfortunately shame, anxiety and regrets over my past missteps will always be part of my thoughts, as it is for most of us. But now I am happy to share that shame, fear, anxiety and secrets are on the outside looking in. The door is forever locked.
Thanks Ralph. I will always be grateful for your brutal honesty, kindness and compassion.
Working with Ralph has been a transformative experience for me. His approach, which combines empathy with practical strategies, has been immensely beneficial in addressing my challenges. His attentiveness and transparency made me feel understood and supported throughout our sessions. Ralph reminded me of my inner confidence and accountability to take charge of my life, and to ultimately lead to a healthy lifestyle, both mentally and physically. I highly recommend Ralph to anyone seeking meaningful and lasting change in their lives.